Judy. Every time we return to the States, we talk about the stress of trying to see everyone we want to see, visit all our doctors, get back involved at church, etc. But nothing prepared us for the summer that awaited us in Georgia.
As Ted has told you, his dad's illness and rapid decline hung over us when we got back. Ted went out for a short visit, and, as things looked good, came home for us to pack up and take Caed on his promised trip to Washington, DC. He had carefully set out an agenda, which we mostly met, and we had a great trip. Number one on his list was a visit to the Lincoln Memorial, which we were able to do on the last day. It was a good time for all of us. We also got to celebrate Parker's 22nd birthday and Caed's "moving on" ceremony to middle school in the fall.
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| Caed contemplating President Lincoln |
The boys are growing up
A couple of days back from that trip, we drove to Orlando to see the Rolling Stones, something we haven't done in years. We met some cool people, and had a rollicking good time. However, on our way to the show, Ted's sister, Kathy called to say that their Dad had been hospitalized and was having surgery. The next day, we learned that a second surgery was being planned so we took off for the Atlanta airport to get Ted to Denver as soon as possible. Thank goodness Ted was able to sit with his dad and sisters and to be with him as Andy left this life on June 6. It was not easy, but, in Ted's words, it was a good death. Ted helped his sisters with some immediate needs and they began planning a a memorial reception for July 16 to which we would drive, rather than fly.
After Ted's return to Athens, we had a few good days--he got involved once again with the men's group at church and I signed up for a book study and for a yoga class. Life settled in.
Then, one Saturday when Stefan and his boys were here, and we had three of the four grandsons, my back seized up with a pinched nerve, and just like that, I was bedridden. We got to the spine specialist for some oral meds, and made an appointment for an injection when we returned from his dad's memorial gathering. We made a bed in the back seat of Raymond, our truck and headed west.
That did NOT go well, and by the time we got to my friend Terry's home in Kansas, I was moved into his guest room while Ted continued on to Denver. I couldn't have asked for a better nurse, though it was not the fun-filled visit Terry and I always had. As soon the service in Denver was wrapped up, Ted picked me up in Kansas and we drove back to Athens, where I have spent the remainder of our time here in Georgia either in bed or taking 1/2 block walks.
It was humbling. It IS humbling. I've always been fine, and there to help others. Now, Team Judy sprang into action to help me, with proper medication doses, with a transport chair, with visits, food, calls, and offers of help. I became weak from inability to exercise and lost weight. I cried as much from frustration as from pain.
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| Ruby, my new transport chair |
When things go wrong, Ted says, "What does this make possible?" Well, I couldn't really see good in this, but as days went by, I learned a lot. I finally am able to talk about what happens when we can't do this traveling any more. I'm willing to slow down and use the transport chair. I'm forced--and, dare I say, happy?--to accept help from the people around me. I have come to terms with the fact that I am not invincible. Our daughter, Leslie checks in on me regularly and son, Stefan calls. Friends near and far keep tabs on me, and I am more than grateful.
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| When I told my friend Donna that mornings are difficult, she made me this "mug rug" to cheer me |
Among those who have held me emotionally are folks from Emmanuel, where we're finally settling in and becoming involved. Having a home church is comforting and strengthening, and Emmanuel has provided that. I couldn't capture photos of everyone there, but these four staff members have been touchstones for me.
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| Emmanuel staff Anna, Rev. Katie, Martha, and Fr. Samuel |
I don't love this life lesson, but it's been a good one. Y'all, keep reminding me, ok?